Nothin’ better than the little death.
I dare you: take me out again.
As we fall, look me in the eyes
So I can pretend we might die
And our shutes won’t open.
I’d rather that the last thing I see
Is you looking deep inside of me.
As we feel the earth collide
And our legs go weak one last time
I lean in, kiss your cheek.
The sky has always been our escape.
It’s Reality at the bottom I can’t take.
So I can only glance once, shyly pine,
“Wanna go to the edge like last time?”
Your smile is your pledge.
I can’t make the words bleed
Unless I cut deep
And then it might not be enough
But the scar is rough
And the questions come down
Basic, unintelligible sounds
Threats, actions and nouns
And I have to step back out of myself
See the gorged hell
So pleased with herself
And the eyes that stare back sow
You have to wound to grow
You learn before you know
An intrinsic and intensive smile–
“Sit down and listen for a while”
And the words seep out
Like blood or bile
Am I only a vessel?
Am I the messenger?
Or am I a lowly vassel–
Just another passenger?
I’m no guide, but I find myself leading
And when another slips, falls keening
There I am, a shoulder to lean on
And I ask myself, “Do I really belong?”
These lights and these people
Am I here standing, or am I a steeple?
Have I become the haven I crave?
Have I settled, become another’s save?
I look back at all my flaws and laugh
I’m that smile, that flare and chaff
Beating off all the ghosts that haunt
As my own soul starves, goes gaunt
The mirror has always offered answer
But I’ve always ignored it like a cancer
Gotta tuck my hands away; pretend
Martyrdom never looked better on me in the end.
I am a child
I have lived a thousand lives
Seen things others only dream of
Seen what those who’ve seen
can’t speak of
I have wrought war
I have sought peace
Seen what both glorify
Seen the lengths people go to
to only reap what’s been bought
I have met heroes, instigators
I have met villains, lovers
Seen the battlements I help build
Seen nations rise and fall
in the wake of poetic uprising
I am just a flicker
I am just an orange-white wink
in a bonfire of change
while seeing every potential lick
as that spark
that lights the fire of revolution
and still yet, I see that glimmer in you
A subtle reminder
I need to recede:
The bar disappears
But the fading
Is very real.
For once, I want to run
And not apologise.
I want to read a book
And leave the strobe lights.
The call of water and sleep
Is almost too much to bear.
Is it the conversation?
Your familiar smell?
It will be a year since you left
I haven’t waited…
But I’ve bated my breath
And hated myself more for it.