Monthly Archives: December 2015

The Law of Conservation in Love

I spent three years in the
cosmic throes
and was never satisfied with myself
unless I was orbitting a starry lover.
I was blinded by them.
Put to rest my old feelings–
It is the star dust that remains that I
must address: I am shocked by it.

Those pieces of me that I
frankly
didn’t understand very well
have returned like aspects of the
downtrodden Prodigal son.
I have forgiven myself–
embraced all those parts long thought
destroyed.

I’d been chasing the sunlight sloughed
off by other bodies for so long…
I had blinded myself staring at them
without realizing
they were gassy giants
just waiting to
die.

I am a satellite no longer.
In the wake of their supernova
I have been unmade
and remade.
Their abandonment
made my renewal possible
and now I give off my own light…
bringing me back to my
Star Dust Address:
I am beside myself
because it is not their husk or energy
that I cannibalized to rebuild myself.
Rather, I had been a star all along.
They destroyed “us”.
I gathered my pieces to
come back together.

But their abandoned star dust drifts
on through the cosmos
(like I once had
before I found their light
in the darkness.)

We lose nothing of ourselves.
It seems we only change shape.

I am… unsure
if I should be accepting of this
or rail against it with everything I am
and mourn!